How To Guide: SAHM House Cleaning

Todays blog is brought to you by the “Not so good at being a SAHM-Mom” as well as the “House Cleaning days are the worst days”!

I am sitting here looking our the window of my very real, very brown rental at the misty, grey, overcast day dreading what the day holds.  Today is house cleaning day.  (insert someone screaming here)

I am not a very good SAHM.  Why?  Well mainly because I don’t want to be one.  I have MAD respect for those who love it!  I mean mad respect, but I want to work.  Sure, ideally I want that perfect job that balances life (cause I love my kids and want to be here for them) and work.  Basically though I just really want to make my own money so we can go on trips, and not really think as much about the financial burden of everything.  For example: the man boy I live with-my very bestie ever-HATES the rental we reside in.  You see he walks in and instantly gets angry at the abundance of brown walls, floors, and cabinets mocking him.  I don’t disagree with him the quirks are endless.  If the cupboards aren’t fallen off, the microwave seems to stay on when opened.  When placing silverware in the dishwasher one does not just throw them in willy nilly…no, no…one has to carefully manuever them into the right spots or else the silverwear may fall through since the basket is falling apart.  And of course there is the fact that all access to the backyard has to be through one of the kids rooms so guess where the doggy door is?  The boy truly hates our rental so much he wants to buy a house at this assignment.  He states that even when the rental is clean (and I may be a bit of a clean freak) it still feels dirty due to the brown overload.

So it is my cleaning day.  I have tried to spread the cleaning wealth across the week, but that is never fun.  I dedicate one solid day to cleaning and that day goes something like the following:

  • Wake up, get coffee, kids off to school
  • Sit on my computer for an hour or so job hunting
  • Eat breakfast
  • Go back to computer to browse social media or Zulily
  • Finally make myself change into cleaning clothes
  • Back to computer to see if there is anything else on the web that will take my attention
  • Stare out the window
  • Think about working out
  • Possibly work out despite my dislike for working out
  • Maybe find a project that might need done
  • Is it lunchtime yet?
  • Okay I will clean the upstairs
  • Begrudgingly clean upstairs
  • LUNCH!!!!
  • Computer again cause I had to take a break for lunch or maybe I will watch TV just to avoid longer
  • Realize that if I keep avoiding the Boy will come home from work and I will feel guilty the house isn’t clean since I have been home all day
  • Think of any and every other project I could possibly do
  • Plan out the rest of my week as I am sure there are errands, or volunteer work to be done
  • Look at the clock and freak out cause I have maybe an hour and half till school gets out
  • Rush like a mad woman to clean the downstairs before the kids come home to only destroy it all anyway
  • Curse the kids while finding super weird, disturbing, and disgusting stuff in their rooms
  • Finally finish cleaning and hop in a shower

At around this point the kids stroll in with their filthy selves and start throwing backpacks and coats every which way.  I lose my cool cause DAMMIT I just cleaned the house and we commence with homework routines.

Later the man-child arrives home and dinner occurs which consequently infuriates me more since the kitchen was clean, and then the realization hits that I spend all day procrastinating and cleaning only to have a really nice house for maybe 3 hours.  Then a week goes by and I do it all over again.  I may actually be living in an insane asylum.

Happy Hump Day!

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